Eastward Pioneer
Lyrics by Laurel Lee Welch © 2007

1. I Don't Miss Missing You

I don't miss missing you, I don't miss all the crying
I don't miss missing you, I don't miss all the lying
I don't miss you at my front door at two in the morning
I don't miss you dead drunk and calling
I don't miss kissing you, I don't miss how you conned me
I don't miss listening, you think you're so charming
I don't miss you taking my years like I wasn't using 'em
I don't miss you, you and your truck, what the fuck
But now I'm awake, he's here everyday
He's got nice things to say, its better this way
The oldest heartaches are going away
I woke up today and realized, I don't miss missing you

2. Sharmaine

I know it's not fair, Sharmaine
In early June there still is rain
So hard to keep your proud chin high
You're a lousy housemate and a lousy friend
But hold on 'till the sun shines again
Sharmaine, Sharmaine Can't you live through the rain
There's near a million people here that do
I know its dark in here and I know it's hard
To see it clear that we'll get out of here Sharmaine
It's cold and damp, your curls stay tight
And you fight with him most every single night
You stomp and stomp you're as lazy as sin
But I never thought that you'd give in Sharmaine
It's June the 3rd, and I remember well
The day that your life went to hell
A few days later the sun came sunning
Just like this year so long in coming

3. I Should Not Be In The Kitchen

I should not be in the kitchen
I can't remember what to do
I think I got the 'Heimers but I'm only 32
I should be sittin' in the kitchen
'Stead of messing with the chicken
I should not be in the kitchen
But I'm drunk and hungry too
I see you think it's pretty funny
I see you laughin' at me
And if I wasn't lit you'd get the third degree
Give me a hand I'll make you some
We'll grill some cheese for everyone
I should not be in the kitchen
But I'm drunk and hungry too
The menagerie in the 'frigerator
Is a mystery I'll have to think about that later
I should not be in the kitchen
I'm gonna burn myself
Hand me the Valentina's over on the other shelf
Turn up the radio it's playin' songs we all know
I should not be in the kitchen
But I'm drunk and hungry too


4. Half Of Me

I didn't know, I didn't know
That there was half of me
When I was young I thought I was a
Perfect pedigree
Then I met you, there I stood
On my one leg and my one foot
Staring in surprise with my one eye
Wondering how it could be
There was half of me
I'm not saying that we're twins
Just the opposite
I don't need to hear you love me too
It's something I assume
I didn't know, I didn't know
That every day had light
When it would rain I would complain
About the endless night
Then I met you, very soon
The sun came out and it was noon
Gazing in surprise and the blue sky
Wondering how it could be
There was half of me

5. Eastward Pioneer

My dad lives in Alaska not even in a town
When I said I was leaving he was clearly let down
What do you need? What can I say?
Why are you moving 4000 miles away?
The rest of my family lives in Stumptown
I called them up on Thanksgiving to see who was around
One was indifferent the other kind of rude
Only one sister said, “how I miss you”
3000 miles from my sister
3000 miles from her kids
I moved to Florida from Oregon, I did
Ungodly hot is really not
Better than the rain I hear
It's just a rare occurrence
The eastward pioneer
I swapped sunset for sunrise
I started up yes ma'ams
I'm eating steamed oysters
‘Stead of butter clams
I don't expect recycling yet
But the coffee's pretty good
I'm western as a girl can get
In the Westside neighborhood

6. I Gave What I Had

You took all my energy and left me in a pool
With my blood and my guts
And my eyeballs and drool
And it sounds like you're hurting
Real awful bad
But I'm not coming over
I gave what I had
I always do this, no, I know better
But you look so helpless
In your mis-buttoned sweater
You need encouragement
Some lunch and a ride
You need a friend with whom to confide
And I'm happy to help I'm glad to be of use
But where is the line between that and abuse
Understand that I'd give you my shirt
Understand if you need I'd dust off your dirt
Understand that I know that you're hurting real bad
But I'm not coming over
I gave what I had

7. That Ain't Right

Does being away feel better ‘cause you're scared
Is loneliness your preference
Do you think you're not prepared
I'm not what you fear but what you hope
I'm only a girl with a song I wrote
I don't want to scare you but there you are
Guys scare so much easier when they're
Sittin' at a bar
I'm not saying there aren't girls
Who have done you wrong
I'm only a girl with a song
I guess I'm not a girl I'm 33
One third of my life has been lifted off of me
I've only been a woman a little while
And I'm tryin' hard to ride it out
Accompanied in style
I'm tippin' you my hat you're real good
At least you're backin' out right about
The time you should
So here I'll chin up and walk softly out tonight
You'll have to live without me
That ain't right

8. Waiting Waltz

It takes all day, it takes all night
To get over the fright
That you might call, or worse
That you might
Do you know what it's like
To spend your whole day
Awaiting your call?
Do you know what it feels like at all?
When it's grey and it's cloudy and
Everywhere sounds better than here
I walk the old Waiting Waltz

9. A Call At Five

I thought I should call you, it's just after five
After our work we went down to the dive
Oh, it's crowded and lonely
The singles, the vibe
I no longer care now that you're in my life
Oh, I'll see you in about a beer
Trying hard to get out of here
But you know how one drink
Can turn into three
Oh, baby, I love you please wait up for me
I'm laughing and drinking
The first one goes down
I figure it's my turn and get the next round
But my mind is on you though
And I start to brag
The girls what to hear it but it makes them sad



10. Chicken Bomb

Chicken bomb, chicken bomb
Oh, don't you use it you know it's awfully wrong
Don't use it on your enemies
Not Osama or your mom
The worst thing on the planet is the
Milk and chicken bomb
There's a vengeful section of my brain
It's powerful of course
But I'm saved I've got a stronger
Anti-vengeance task force
It's always working, keeping me
From going out too far
Only able to imagine
Bricks in windows, keying cars
I've been tortured since I heard about this
Horrid, horrid thing
But if I say it I can't use it
So it'll be a memory
Fill a jar up with raw chicken
Add some milk and seal it tight
Hide it underneath their house
And then run with all your might
Two months later, maybe less
Oh, my God, maybe more
It'll shatter into pieces
Seeping rotten in the floor
The smell it must be putrid
Disgusting and insane
They say you can't remove it
And they'll never know your name

11. There In Tennessee

All roads lead to Nashville I never would believe
That if you drive ‘till the road ends that
You'd be in Tennessee
The highway stars my atlas
My daydreams are my canvas
I could be an asset if I went to Tennessee
One day I'll show up on vacation
Watch an Opry stand ovation
Take over the radio station there in Tennessee
I'll play songs there anywhere
At laundra-mats and county fairs
I better call so they won't get scared
There in Tennessee, there in Tennessee
It's too bad that Waylon's dead
I'd-a liked to be his friend
But the center of the universe
Is the beginning of the end
Send me where the bright lights
Have history and fist fights
I would play there all night
If I could in Tennessee

12. Have You Ever

Have you ever looked down that long lonesome road
They're sayin' you can do it if you try
Have you ever been down at the end of the road
Wishin' you could lay right down and die
Lord, Lord. Wishin' you could lay right down and die
I am not a lawyer, I am not your friend
But I will be here for you ‘til the end
Have you ever paid ten so you could get five
They're telling you, you just made a steal
Have you ever paid five so you could feel alive
And three times that a bargain and a deal
Lord, Lord. Three times that a bargain and a deal
I am not your memories, I'm not yesterday
But I am here I'll never go away
Have you laid down the law of the land
You've had it and it's all out of hand
Have those on your side slipped away far and wide
And you're master of your own and lonely hide
Lord, Lord. Master of your own and lonely hide
I am not your daughter, I am not your mom
But I will be here for you on and on

13. I'm Not Gonna Work Here Anymore

I'm not gonna work here anymore
Though I've worked here long enough
‘Till my arms are sore
I'm not gonna work here anymore
You're running roughshod like a neighborhood buffoon
When all I wanted was to take you to the moon
Before you know it and you'll know it pretty soon
Oh, you're gonna notice when I'm gone
When that'll be, I can hardly say
Always hoping you'll behave
I'm getting the rhythm of your recidivism
Your relapses come in bigger packets
I'm making dinner and you're sittin' and relaxing
I'm not gonna work here anymore

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